Let me tell you about my Jesus (my faith journey)

Welcome back, y’all! Man, I haven’t blogged in four years! I recently went back and read some of my posts, and I must say, my grammar back then is actually rather embarrassing! *hides face in hands* It has improved, I promise! I guess a lot has happened over the past few years, and I’ll have to write another post about it soon. However, this post is actually being used as a final project for my Bible/Theology: Basics of Christian Religion class at New Hope Christian College. Surprise! I am pursuing a bachelor’s! Anyways, our assignment is to tell our faith journey creatively. What you’re about to read is mine, and this is the equivalent of a three-page double-spaced paper. However, feeling like I should start blogging again and realizing that I have barely posted about NHCC anywhere, I thought this project could be used for both. Granted, I fought Linn-Benton a lot, and I haven’t had to do that at New Hope. Thank you, Jesus! Okay, here goes my faith journey. You ready?

            My name is Kelcie, and I was born and raised in church. I was born not breathing and turning blue, actually. You see, due to a traumatic birth and a lack of oxygen, I have multiple disabilities. Some of them are Cerebral Palsy, a speech disorder, and a complex seizure disorder (which is relevant to this story). I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior as a small child, though I don’t actually remember it. I was baptized in sixth grade and faced many hardships through high school. I was bullied and left out as a child. Even though I did not understand why at the time, God did use it to show me that horses are my happy place. I believe that horses specifically show us God’s love and acceptance. He blessed me with a four-legged best friend who showed me that for nearly seven years in the midst of bullying and perhaps medical chaos.

            I had my first seizure when I was five, but they were not consistent until I was six. I never say that I suffer from Cerebral Palsy because there are much more severe cases than mine, but I do say that I suffered from seizures. I was on and off medicines for maybe four years before I got onto melatonin, and that worked better than anything else. My seizures were sleep-related, and unfortunately, I never once lost consciousness during them. God used a 700 Club prayer to heal me when I was eleven years old, and this August will mark seventeen years seizure free. I wholeheartedly believe Romans 8:28, which says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” God takes the good, the bad, the ugly, and the traumatizing things and creates something absolutely beautiful from them. I may not see it all yet, even seventeen years later, but I know something good will come from it.

            I am going to skip ahead. In the past six years, specifically, my faith has been reshaped, refined, and most recently, it has grown deeper roots. Why? I was mistreated, misled, and then started going to a Pentecostal church. So, during covid, I lost my summer job/home, and not in the sense that they were closed. They were still open, but felt that I would be putting others at risk of getting covid by being there. Honestly, that was the hardest and deepest hurt I have endured. I spent that summer crying to God and just trying to make sense of it, but I couldn’t. I got counseling to help myself heal, and while I still have moments of utter frustration, I am better, continuing to heal, and God has shown me several reasons why that happened. I will keep this next thing super vague and say that I went through a thankfully short season of wondering what the point of going to church was due to circumstances. It’s funny because I knew the answer the whole time, but only one person gave me that same answer. 

        Through this class, though, the answer has been expanded on. We go to church to learn about and worship God in community, do life together, which also helps create an accurate understanding of the Bible, to get filled up, and pour out on those around us in and outside of church. So that’s the second thing, and the third thing is actually self-explanatory. However, let me explain more. Through God working in my life, and Cowboy Church (if you know me: go figure, right?), I found myself at New Hope West, and I believe that’s where I began to grow in my faith deeper than ever before. I used to do devotions and would try the SOAP method (scripture, observation, application, prayer), but I didn’t really get anything beyond “trust God.” The Holy Spirit reveals so much more to me now. The other day, I asked God how He wanted me to handle something, and in my SOAP, I wrote, “rely on God.”

While attending the church and slowly wrapping up my associate’s degree, I felt called to open a school on a farm that combines academics and farming. I figured I should pursue a degree in education, but I honestly also had little desire to go back to school, again, after five years of consistently advocating for myself in community colleges. I eventually began to pray, “God, if you want me to do this, then you have to make it happen because I don’t want to do this again.”…He did. Allow me to tip my hat to three people right here, and I won’t name anyone publicly. Two of them made transferring my credits super easy, and the other one was thinking about how much an elevator would cost. I felt SO welcomed by that last part alone, and honestly, wanted by the school.

            While I am growing my faith, I am far from perfect, and I am definitely still learning about obedience. But I also know that being a student at NHCC is where God wants me, and He is blessing me through everyone there. I know some of what I need to work on, I know God will keep revealing more, and I know I have good company while I do so.